Maybe it’s that I’m misunderstanding myself. Maybe it’s that I don’t know myself. Maybe it’s that I don’t love myself. I don’t know what it is. I know he’d like to see it. Maybe he’ll come and look. Maybe.

Joseph’s Poem

I don’t believe in love songs anymore
I don’t believe I’m worth it
I don’t think I can love
I don’t think I function properly

I miss you
And I can’t handle you
If I had you I wouldn’t appreciate you
You’re too good for me

Your love was too much for me it seems
I can’t handle it
I can’t handle your love
I can’t accept a good lover
I can’t accept a good friend
I can’t accept good in my life

Alone
Burning in my chest
It’s my heart, speaking too late
Telling me I’m a villain
Telling me I made all the mistakes
Telling me you’re blameless
Telling me all you did was love me

And it lied when I needed the truth
And I lied when you needed the truth from me
You were so soft
And I was so hard    on you

First, let’s begin with the cover. There are two versions of the cover. This one is the one you’ll have seen on any physical edition of the album:

This cover is used for the regular edition and all of the deluxe editions excluding the box-set. However, if you bought the album online, you’ll have seen this cover, or some variation of it (some versions, such as iTunes’, are the same cover, but the coloring is a little more or less saturated)

This version is a larger photo, showing more of Florence and her dress, as well as having a bluer hue. I include both of these cover photos and information about them because finding a really high quality version of either (particularly the first one) can be extremely frustrating; however thanks to Coverlandia, most of her album and single covers are now available in very good quality. I personally bounce back and forth between which album cover I like more.

Now, let’s begin. The thing about Lungs is that there are 13 tracks on the album, but there are a LOT of different editions of this album. There’s a regular edition, a 2-disc deluxe edition (which is even MORE deluxe in certain countries), a 4-disc box set edition, a 2-disc re-release of the album called Between Two Lungs, and finally, an American deluxe edition which features tracks from all of the previous editions as well as some material that hadn’t yet been released on any edition of the album.

The thing is, all of these different versions of the album (excluding the last one, which compiles bits and pieces from all of them), have entirely different bonus material, and keeping it all organized in a nightmare. I still haven’t found a logical way of doing it without having a GIGANTIC list of B-Sides and bonus material that doesn’t feel like it flows in any really cohesive way. But let’s discuss the different versions of the album, shall we?

As I said, we have the album itself, which never alters: 13 tracks.

Lungs

1 Dog Days Are Over
2 Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)
3 I’m Not Calling You A Liar
4 Howl
5 Kiss With A Fist
6 Girl With One Eye [The Ludes cover]
7 Drumming Song
8 Between Two Lungs
9 Cosmic Love
10 My Boy Builds Coffins
11 Hurricane Drunk
12 Blinding
13 You’ve Got the Love [Candi Station cover]

You’ve Got the Love is considered a “bonus track,” but there is no edition of the album that doesn’t include it. Before the release of the album, the songs Kiss With A Fist and Dog Days Are Over were released as singles (the latter being released as “Dog Days”). A cover of Cold War Kids’ Hospital Beds was recorded as the B-Side for the Kiss With A Fist single, and a cover of Candi Station’s You Got the Love was recorded as the B-Side for Dog Days (note: the song was also titled “You” Got the Love, as opposed to “You’ve” Got the Love, on the Dog Days single). The song gained so much popularity that it was included on the album as a “bonus track,” and eventually became it’s own single. It is important to note, however, that the single version of You’ve Got the Love features entirely newly recorded vocals, and in my opinion the single version is much better than the album version. It is, unfortunately, extremely hard to find, and I still haven’t been to find any way to get ahold of the single version without purchasing the actual CD single, since nothing else, not even any digitial releases, include the single version of You’ve Got the Love.

Girl With One Eye was written by Matt Alchin of The Ludes. Incidentally, Florence was dating a member of the Ludes, and he had to cancel a date with Florence to build a coffin for the cover of the band’s EP, which prompted Florence to write My Boy Builds Coffins. One more note on the original release: the US version of the album is an enhanced CD that links to a bonus content area of Florence’s website with downloads of three live performances: Between Two Lungs, Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up), and Dog Days Are Over. I personally like this performance of Rabbit Heart because it’s the only time I’ve ever heard Florence sing the high notes in the chorus.

Singles

This album has a lot of singles, and all of them are fantastic. The first, as I mentioned, was Kiss With A Fist, which was included on the soundtrack to the film Jennifer’s Body. Kiss With A Fist is probably the only song on the album that doesn’t exactly fit in with the rest. Florence herself has commented that she hadn’t quite found her sound yet when she recorded this song, and it wasn’t until Dog Days Are Over was written that she really found her sound as a musician. The second single, as also already mentioned, was Dog Days Are Over. This song is still Florence’s most recognizable song: it was featured in the trailer for the film Eat, Pray, Love, and after she performed the song live on the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards, it skyrocketed on the digital charts, which prompted Florence’s label to re-release Dog Days Are Over as the album’s sixth single, along with a new music video for the song. It is to-date Florence’s most successful single.

However, backing the train up, the third single to be released was Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up). This song was apparently written because Florence’s label wanted her to write a “happier” song. And in fact, if you’ve heard any of Florence’s older songs, she has written some extremely dark songs. This is not, however, a bad thing. This is one of those instances where a label asks for something, gets exactly the opposite of what they want, and it ends up marketing well and the artist still gets to be themselves: Rabbit Heart is backed by an infectiously joyful melody, a hip-hop infused dance beat, and bright pianos, but the lyrics are quite dark in their way. On a side-note, I personally have interpreted one of the common themes of Lungs to be abusive relationships: Kiss With A Fist, Heavy In Your Arms, Rabbit Heart, Dog Days Are Over, Howl, Girl With One Eye, all of these songs are filled with imagery of a hungry kind of love that is riddled with problems, regrets, and abuse. I suspect however, it’s just that I personally choose to identify with the songs in this way. As I’ve said, one of the remarkable aspects of Lungs is it’s versatility.

The fourth single is a juggernaut calling Drumming Song. This song is probably the most insanely infectious song on the album, and certainly one of my favorite singles, though choosing a favorite is hard. This is another song that draws from a lot of hip-hop influences: the drum beat upon which the song is built is directly inspired by the beat to Lil Mama’s 2007 single Lip Gloss. This is one of the album’s songs that is filled to the brim with sexual energy: between this song and Howl, we already have a great soundtrack to an orgy. Toss in her 2011 followup album’s song Bedroom Hymns, and we can just assume Florence does all of her best writing in the sack.

The fifth single is You’ve Got the Love, which we’ve already discussed. Remember: single version. Completely new vocal track. The music video features Florence dancing around on a giant crescent moon amongst a party of lovers, with confetti flying through the air. She’s also decked out in a skin-tight bodysuit that would probably do some very powerful things to me if I were straight. At the 2010 BRIT awards, Florence performed a live version of the song, featuring verses added by rapper Dizzee Rascal, and this was released as the next single from the album.

The sixth single was planned to be Hurricane Drunk, and in fact, there is a music video for Hurricane Drunk (which I myself uploaded to YouTube but it can’t be viewed in the US due to copyright restrictions) which, as was the case with You’ve Got the Love, features all-new vocals from Florence, though the “single version” of Hurricane Drunk has NEVER been officially released. Your only chance of getting it would be to rip the audio from the music video. Around the time that Hurricane Drunk was planned as the album’s sixth single, Florence performed Dog Days Are Over on the VMA’s, and it’s surge in popularity prompted the re-release of the single.

The seventh and final single to be released from the album was Cosmic Love, though Florence’s cover of Robert Palmer’s Addicted to Love, which was featured as a B-Side on the You’ve Got the Love physical single, was released as a promotional single. A remix of Dog Days Are Over by Yeasayer was also released as a promotional single.

A Lot of Love. A Lot of Blood

Three months prior to the release of Lungs, a vinyl-only EP was released exclusively in the US, titled A Lot of Blood. A Lot of Blood. Side 1 contains the album’s first two singles, Dog Days Are Over and Kiss With A Fist; side B contains the two single’s respective B-Sides, You’ve Got the Love and Hospital Beds, as well as a remix of Dog Days Are Over by Optimo (Espacio).

Deluxe Versions/Re-Releases

Lungs: Deluxe Edition

Disc 1
(standard 13-song tracklisting found on the regular edition)

Disc 2

1 Bird Song Intro
2 Bird Song
3 Dog Days Are Over (Demo)
4 Falling
5 Hardest of Hearts
6 Ghosts (Demo)
7 Girl With One Eye (Bayou Percussion Version) [The Ludes cover]
8 Swimming [bonus track on the Australian deluxe edition]

The deluxe version includes entirely new songs, some demos of old songs, and one alternate version. Bird Song is split into two parts: the first song is a minute and a half intro to the song. Any editions of the album that include Bird Song without it’s intro is just Bird Song. The two parts of the song have never been combined into one track. Another fun trivia fact: apparently the demo version of Dog Days Are Over was recorded in a closet, with Florence and Isabella Summers (Florence’s musical partner who plays piano on tour on helped write a lot of the songs) banging on the walls of the closet for percussion.

“Ghosts” is a demo version of the song that would ultimately be referred to as “I’m Not Calling You A Liar” on the final version of the album. There are some slight lyrical differences between Ghosts and I’m Not Calling You A Liar, though in the tracklisting for every EP/live album released after Lungs, the song has been referred to as Ghosts; only on the tracklisting for Lungs is it called I’m Not Calling You A Liar.

On the Austrlian version of the deluxe edition is the first appearance of my favorite Florence song, which was also the first Florence song I heard: Swimming. The deluxe edition of the album on iTunes featured Swimming as a 14th track for pre-orders in the US store, and in the UK store, it’s featured as the 21st track, in exactly the same order as the Australian deluxe version of the album.

Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition

Disc 1
(standard 13-song tracklisting found on the regular edition)

Disc 2: Live At Abbey Road
1 Between Two Lungs
2 Kiss With A Fist
3 Hurricane Drunk
4 Cosmic Love
5 Oh! Darling [The Beatles cover]
6 Dog Days Are Over
7 Drumming Song
8 You’ve Got the Love [Candi Station cover]
9 Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)

Disc 3: Remixes, Covers & Rarities
1 Halo (Radio 1′s Live Loung) [Beyoncé cover]
2 Hurricane Drunk (Acoustic Version)
3 You’ve Got the Love (Steve Pitron & Max Sanna Remix) [Candi Station cover]
4 Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) [P.E.S.T. Remix]
5 Drumming Song (Boy 8-Bit Remix)
6 Flakes [Mystery Jets cover]
7 An Offering (Rabbit Heart Demo)
8 You’ve Got the Love (Fraser T. Smith’s Remix) [Candi Station cover]
9 Cosmic Love (Acoustic Version)
10 Are You Hurting The One You Love? [B-Side from Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) single]
11 Swimming

Disc 4 (DVD): Live from Rivoli Ballroom

As far as standard releases go, this was the first physical edition of the album in the UK to include Swimming, and is the only release to include Florence’s Mystery Jets cover, Flakes, the demo version of Rabbit Heart, or the studio acoustic versions of Hurricane Drunk and Cosmic Love.  Are You Hurting the One You Love? however, is a B-Side from the Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) single, and the DVD includes 11 performances live from the Rivoli Ballroom, 4 live acoustic performances, and four music videos (the music video included for Dog Days Are Over is the original video, filmed in the woods with a handheld camera, since the second music video for the song wouldn’t be filmed until the re-release in 2010). It also includes a really nifty book with photos you can’t find anywhere else, an essay on Lungs by author David Vann, and more stuff from Florence’s personal notebook that inspired her during the writing of Lungs (I luckily managed to run across a gallery of scans of the entire booklet on a fan site!). I would like to get my hands on the box set one of these days, but as of now it has become somewhat expensive and hard to find.

There is another “box set” of the album that isn’t really a box set, just a very elaborately packaged deluxe version of the album. It has the exact same tracklisting as the deluxe version (no Swimming, remember that was only for Australia), and comes in a leather box with a Lungs-shaped mirror, sheepskin front panel, disc-envelopes with close-ups of the album artwork, some hand-drawn artwork by Florence, basically it’s just an insanely well-made collector’s item. And it’s also extremely expensive. You can still get it in her official webstore though.

Re-Release: Between Two Lungs

Disc 1
(standard 13-song tracklisting from the regular edition)

Disc 2

1 Heavy In Your Arms [from Twilight Saga: Eclipse soundtrack]
2 You’ve Got the Dirtee Love [live performance from the 2010 BRIT Awards, featuring Dizzee Rascal]
3 Hurricane Drunk (The Horrors Remix)
4 Strangeness & Charm (Live from Hammersmith Apollo)
5 Swimming (Live from Hammersmith Apollo)
6 Dog Days Are Over (Yeasayer Remix)

Live Performances from the Roundhouse at iTunes Festival 2010:

7 Drumming Song
8 Girl With One Eye [The Ludes cover]
9 Hurricane Drunk
10 Dog Days Are Over
11 My Boy Builds Coffins
12 Hosptial Beds [Cold Wars Kids cover]

In 2010, Florence contributed a song to the soundtrack to the third film in the Twilight Saga, Eclipse, called Heavy In Your Arms. This was released as the tenth and final single from Lungs, and was included on Lungs’ 2010 re-release, called Between Two Lungs. Between Two Lungs featured a second disc with entirely newly released material: two singles, Heavy In Your Arms and You’ve Got the Dirtee Love, two new remixes, two live performances from the Hammersmith Apollo (one of which, Strangeness & Charm, was an entirely new song that had never been released before and rarely been performed, and would be included on Florence’s second album), and finally, six live performances from the Roundhouse at the iTunes Festival 2010. There had been an EP released featuring six songs from this performance, but with the exception of Drumming Song and Girl With One Eye, all of the performances had never before been released (Drumming Song and Girl With One Eye, while still the same performances, have are extended a bit and include more of Florence chatting with her band-mates and tuning of some instruments. Not much difference, but still, it is technically a newly released recording).

The “demo” version of Heavy In Your Arms

There’s actually another version of Heavy In Your Arms floating around, but it’s gone mostly unnoticed. This version is probably a demo of the song that was either leaked and mislabeled by file-sharers, or released by accident in place of the final version. The demo differs from the final version in that the first chorus features different vocals, Florence belts out the chorus instead of singing the low refrain, and there are some subtle differences in the instrumental track, including some sound effects that were either diminished or completely removed in the final version. If you want to go hunting for this version, the best thing you can do is look for the Eclipse soundtrack on the internet. While the final version of Heavy In Your Arms is included on any official release of the Eclipse soundtrack (meaning, any release that you purchase legally), rifling through illicit versions the soundtrack or just searching for the song itself  might yield the mislabeled demo version of Heavy In Your Arms. The most distinctive difference between the demo and the final version are the first-chorus vocals, which are not the same vocals used in the second chorus, but a completely unique vocal that was cut from the final version of the song.

And so, we have one more release to cover. All of the previous releases of Lungs after the original featured bonus material that was not included on any other physical version (Swimming being the exception, but remember it was only included in the Australian deluxe version and so would be new to anyone living elsewhere), and the final release of Lungs was released in concurrence with an EP called Lungs: The B-Sides available only in the US, and it compiled B-Sides from every version of Lungs released, and also featured some B-Sides that hadn’t yet been released on any version of the album but had been released on single EPs.

Lungs: Deluxe Edition (US Version)

Disc 1
(standard 13-song tracklisting from the regular edition)

Disc 2: Lungs – The B-Sides

1 Swimming [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set]
2 Heavy In Your Arms [from Twilight Saga: Eclipse soundtrack & Between Two Lungs]
3 Ghosts (Demo) [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
4 You’ve Got the Dirtee Love (Live at 2010 BRIT Awards) [Candi Station cover, from Between Two Lungs]
5 Dog Days Are Over (Yeasayer Remix) [from Between Two Lungs]
6 Falling [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
7 Are You Hurting the One You Love? [from Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) single & Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
8 Addicted to Love [from You've Got the Love single]
9 Bird Song [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
10 Hospital Beds [Cold War Kids cover, from Kiss With A Fist single]
11 Hardest of Hearts [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]

This is the final version of Lungs, and the second disc of B-Sides contains a bit of everything, though it doesn’t contain everything, and to someone who likes to have every recording released by an artist collected, it can be a little aggravating, particularly because my favorite version of Lungs is the 21-song deluxe edition, and this new EP cut out Bird Song Intro, the Dog Days Are Over demo, the alternate version of Girl With One Eye, and left out plenty of other live performances, remixes, and B-Sides. While amongst all of the editions, this one is probably the most desirable because it contains the broadest scope of material, I personally didn’t keep it organized this way for too long. Also, two whom it may concern, the version of Bird Song featured on this edition of Lungs is SLIGHTLY different from the original, in that a fraction of a second of guitar reverberation from the intro is cut from the beginning, so that the song opens just on Florence’s vocals.

B-Sides

I have compiled a list of every B-Side Florence has released, excluding remixes from the CD singles. I don’t include remixes in my B-Sides because when you add every remix ever officially released into a collection of B-Sides it usually makes the list extremely bloated, and this list is already quite lengthy at it is. When I compile B-Sides, I have them formatted with studio tracks first, then soundtrack contributions, then live performances. Since two of Florence’s songs that have been featured on soundtracks have been album tracks/singles, the only one that gets formatted in the soundtrack category is her cover of Buddy Holly’s Not Fade Away, which was featured on the tribute album Rave On Buddy Holly.

Lungs: B-Sides

1 Bird Song Intro [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
2 Bird Song [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
3 Dog Days Are Over (Demo) [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
4 Falling [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
5 Hardest of Hearts [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
6 Ghosts (Demo) [from Lungs: Deluxe Editon]
7 Girl With One Eye (Bayou Percussion Version) [from Lungs: Deluxe Edition]
8 Hurricane Drunk (Acoustic Version) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition
9 Flakes [Mystery Jets cover,  from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
10 An Offering (Rabbit Heart Demo) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
11 Cosmic Love (Acoustic Version) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
12 Are You Hurting the One You Love? [from Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) single & Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
13 Swimming [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
14 Heavy In Your Arms [from Twilight Saga: Eclipse & Between Two Lungs]
15 You’ve Got the Love (Single Version) [Candi Station cover, from You've Got the Love single]
16 Addicted to Love [from You've Got the Love single]
17 Hospital Beds [Cold War Kids cover, from Kiss With A Fist Single]
18 Falling (Demo) [from Drumming Song single]
19 Dog Days Are Over (Acoustic Version) [from Drumming Song single]
20 My Boy Builds Coffins (Acoustic Version) [from Drumming Song vinyl single]
21 Drumming Song (Acoustic Version) [from Drumming Song single]
22 Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) [Acoustic Version] {from Drumming Song single}
23 Not Fade Away [Buddy Holly cover, from Rave On Buddy Holly]
24 You’ve Got the Love (Strings Version) [Live From Union Chapel/Little Noise Sessions from Dog Days Are Over single]
25 Halo (Radio 1′s Live Lounge) [live at Radio 1, from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
26 You’ve Got the Dirtee Love [Candi Station cover, live performance from 2010 BRIT Award, from Between Two Lungs]
27 Strangeness & Charm (Live From Hammersmith Apollo) [from Between Two Lungs]
28 Swimming (Live From Hammersmith Apollo) [from Between Two Lungs]
29 Between Two Lungs (Live At Abbey Road) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
30 Kiss With A Fist (Live At Abbey Road) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
31 Hurricane Drunk (Live At Abbey Road) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
32 Cosmic Love (Live At Abbey Road) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
33 Oh! Darling (Live At Abbey Road) [The Beatles cover, from Lungs: Deluxe Box Edition]
34 Dog Days Are Over (Live At Abbey Road) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
35 Drumming Song (Live At Abbey Road) [from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
36 You’ve Got the Love (Live At Abbey Road) [Candi Station cover, from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition]
37 Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) [Live At Abbey Road] {from Lungs: Deluxe Box Set Edition}
38 Drumming Song (Live From iTunes Festival ’10) [from Between Two Lungs]
39 Girl With One Eye (Live From iTunes Festival ’10) [from Between Two Lungs]
40 Hurricane Drunk (Live From iTunes Festival ’10) [from Between Two Lungs]
41 Dog Days Are Over (Live From iTunes Festival ’10) [from Between Two Lungs]
42 My Boy Builds Coffins (Live From iTunes Festival ’10) [from Between Two Lungs]
43 Hospital Beds (Live From iTunes Festival ’10) [Cold War Kids cover, from Between Two Lungs]

What’s missing/notes: So the first thing you should know is that some of these tracks are going to be extremely difficult or entirely impossible to find. For instance, I didn’t include the single version of Hurricane Drunk because it’s never been released, though it does exist. The only thing here that I question ever being able to really find an audio file of is the acoustic version of My Boy Builds Coffins, because it was only released on vinyl. There are ways to get audio from a vinyl, but it’s rare to find the audio from one on the internet. I’ve never even heard the acoustic version of My Boy Builds Coffins. You’re also going to have a hell of a time locating the single version of You’ve Got the Love searching the internet, I personally have had no luck, although the easiest remedy to the situation is to buy the CD single. I don’t imagine it would be terribly expensive, it was available in Florence’s webstore until a few months ago when they liquidated a lot of their Lungs merchandise to make room for merchandise for the new album. Also, all of the acoustic versions that weren’t featured on the Deluxe Box Set Edition were featured on the different editions of the Drumming Single: My Boy Builds Coffins on vinyl, Drumming Song and Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) on the digital EP, and Dog Days Are Over on the CD single.

It should be noted that there is one B-Side conspicously missing from any and all of these lists: Florence’s cover of Beirut’s Postcards From Italy. It is supposedly a B-Side from the Kiss With A Fist single, but I can’t find any evidence to suggest that this is the case (meaning that I’ve never seen a digital EP or any official release of Kiss With A Fist that has this song in it’s tracklisting. I haven’t even found a blog or website that chronicles the song as being part of the tracklisting). It’s a good cover, and I include it in my list of Florence’s demos.

There are also two live EP’s, one called iTunes Festival: London 2010, the other called iTunes Live From SoHo, and they both include acoustic performances, but in an effort to keep this list from becoming too insanely lengthy and to keep things well organized, I keep them all on their respective EPs and don’t include them in the list of B-Sides. There was a 2008 iTunes Festival EP that was apparently on iTunes briefly, and it had live performances of Donkey Kosh, Hospital Beds, and My Boy Builds Coffins, but the only place I can find any of these performances are on YouTube. In 2011, Florence released a live album exclusively on the US iTunes store called Live At The Wiltern, which was released as an album and as a film, but at this point both of them have been taken down for some reason.

Remixes

There are a ton of remixes of songs from Lungs, featured in various places. The deluxe box set edition of the album, and the Between Two Lungs re-release feature some remixes, as well as most of the single EP’s, and there are some great remixes that have never been on any official releases. One of the most notable is a remix of You’ve Got the Love by the XX. A remix of I’m Not Calling You A Liar was featured as the ending credits theme in the game Dragon Age II, featuring orchestral arrangements from the game’s composer, Inon Zur. This remix has never been officially released on any version of the Dragon Age II soundtrack or any of Florence’s releases; there has to be a high-quality mp3 of it somewhere on the internet but for the most part the one’s I’ve been able to find are either low-quality, or YouTube-to-mp3 conversions.

Demos

There is one more element of Lungs to tackle: demos. There are quite a lot of them, and finding them can be somewhat time consuming. I personally was given a ton of links from a YouTube user who collects rare Florence tracks, although some of them don’t work anymore because they must have been removed, but if you torrent a bit you should be able to find these, and if all else fails, you can do the unthinkable (to an audiophile) and convert YouTube videos to mp3′s.

Demos

1 Donkey Kosh
2 My Best Dress
3 Coffin Song [an early version of My Boy Builds Coffins]
4 Bird Song [an early version of Bird Song, sang a capella]
5 Throwing Bricks
6 Ye Old Hope
7 Swimming Song [an early version of Swimming]
8 Girl With One Eye [demo version]
9 Between Two Lungs [demo version]
10 Tear Out My Tongue [a studio version of Ye Olde Hope]
11 Don’t Tell Me [an early version of I'm Not Calling You A Liar]

(tracks 12-15 from Florrible + Misrabella’s EP “Someone Spilt Snakebite On My Espadrille”)

12 Little Donkey [Florrible + Misrabella's take on Donkey Kosh]
13 Halloween
14 Small Hands
15 Filthy Fingers [Florrible + Misrabella's take on Girl With One Eye]

16 Galaxy of the Lost [Lightspeed Champion cover]
17 Can’t Speak French [Girls Aloud cover]
18 I’m Not Calling You A Liar [another early version of I'm Not Calling You A Liar, performed with accompaniment by ukulele]
19 Postcards From Italy [Beirut cover]
20 Bricks [studio version of Throwing Bricks]

What’s missing: There is a muffled snippet of a song called Paper Massacre floating around that’s about a minute long, but it’s incomplete and terrible quality.

Other places you can find Florence

Florrible + Misrabella

Florence Welch and her longtime calloborator Isabella Summers have, as a band, undergone many name changes. They first performed together as Florrible + Misrabella, and then changed their names to Florence Robot + Isabella Machine, which became Florence Robot Is A Machine, and finally they settled on Florence + The Machine. Isa is still an active member of the band and co-wrote many of the songs on Lungs. At some point in their evolution as a band, Florrible + Misrabella released an EP called Someone Spilt Snakebite On My Espadrille, but only four of the songs from the EP have ever made their way onto the internet.  Here’s the full tracklisting and album art.

Ashok & Team Perfect

In 2007 Florence became backup vocalist for a jazz band called Ashok with Devonte Hynes of Lightspeed Champion. Their album, Plans, features lyrics and vocals from Florence, and even an early version of Kiss With A Fist called Happy Slap. Florence eventually left the band, feeling that it wasn’t the right place for her, but she and Dev Hynes collaborated again for a project called Team Perfect, and released an EP called Team Perfect Presents Green Day’s Nimrod, in which the duo recorded covers of eight Green Day songs from their 1997 album Nimrod.

In conclusion…

As far as Lungs is concerned, that’s basically everything. Florence’s second album is called Ceremonials, and at this point there haven’t been many B-Sides released, aside from those that were included on the deluxe version of the album (the UK version of which has more material). So far I haven’t really listened too intently to Ceremonials, both because it’s an imposing album filled with 5-minute long sound orgies, and because the sound is extremely different from Lungs, and I don’t know whether to say it’s more cohesive or less broad, but I guess it’s both. I enjoy that Lungs is all over the place, it makes it a treasure trove. Florence is fantastic and she’s my favorite musician, and Ceremonials (particularly Bedroom Hymns) has been great from what I’ve heard of it so far, but I have such a hard time adapting to change, even when it’s change from Florence, who has never, I repeat, never recorded a song I didn’t like. There are no rejects, I enjoy everything she has ever done, I enjoy every officially released song, most covers, and all of her demos. She’s just an extremely creative person and I hope that this will help anyone who is looking to experience more of Florence’s music and to have a better understanding of the somewhat confusing journey through the Lungs era. Four re-releases is a lot for any artist, but at least every edition has it’s own perks, gives a deeper understanding of Lungs, shows Florence to be deeply creative, as well as her collaborative producers, and adds depth to a modern indie masterpiece.

It’s been an eventful couple of weeks for me, my whole life has kind of changed, which is good because to be quite honest everything has SUCKED since moving to Georgia. When I last posted, I hadn’t started my job at Pottery Barn yet. Well, I’m happy to say I’ve been working there for about two weeks now and I really enjoy it. It’s a wonderful job. I was incredibly nervous for my first couple of days, but I got the hang of retail quite easily. There’s a lot to know about the store, and you need to be prepared to answer people’s questions, but luckily we all have headsets and no one is opposed to me asking questions. Altogether, it’s been a very cool job so far, I work evenings and I go in in the afternoon, so I deal with a good bit of customers for the first few hours, and the last few hours I mostly spend doing odd tasks for the managers or whoever needs my help, restocking stuff, and dusting/cleaning a bit.

Since my position is seasonal, I’m trying to go above and beyond if I can, in the hopes of being kept on after the holidays. One of the ladies I work with is really nice to me and is always giving me jobs to do and answering questions for me, and she used to be a manager and she asked me the other day what my intentions were after January, and when I told her that I wanted to stay on with the company she said she’d already talked to them about keeping me on, which is awesome. This is the only job I’ve ever had that I’ve really enjoyed going to, and I feel like I’m doing very well so far. On Tuesday I set a couple of displays on my own, and got some compliments from my manager which was a great feeling. So basically, things are going really well on the job front.

I also finally, after 3 years of driving around with a learner’s permit, got my driver’s license. The DMV in town is one of those with a huge parking lot in the back, and the first section was all about parking, at which I did terrible and knocked over a record amount of traffic cones. However, I did perfect on the actual driving-around-on-the-road portion of my test, and now I’ve been driving myself to and from work every day for the last week or so.

Oh, did I also mention that I’m driving to and from work in my own vehicle? My stepfather basically gave me this truck he’s had for a while, it’s now in my name and I’m insured, and I got tags for the vehicle and everything. So, between my own vehicle, my own insurance, my own license, and my own job, I’m feeling really grown up. Normally I would freak out and shrink and be afraid of all these changes, but it’s really not scaring me all that much. I’ve had some moments, like when I had my first midnight Walmart run all on my own the other night, and once I got to the stoplight at the nearly abandoned four-way stop I got so nervous that I felt like I was having an anxiety attack, but it wasn’t like my normal anxiety attacks, it was ACTUAL fear and anxiety, and once I got through the light it was pretty much alleviated.

In fact, that’s the way everything’s been going lately. Since I started having these issues with panic attacks, I find myself in everyday situations that I can’t handle, and ruin everything for myself with my complete lack of self-confidence, but this whole experience with driving and working and doing things for myself reminds me a lot of when I was a kid in elementary school: I was in behaviorally challenged classes because I had some issues, and they would set me up on a system where certain behaviors bring about certain rewards, and when I did well I would be so proud of myself and I’d actually experience positive change. I guess I’ve just gotten so used to nothing ever happening in my life, as a result of my own lack of faith in myself and refusal to really try, that I’m not used to the feeling of ACCOMPLISHING things.

I even found myself being annoyed at the other seasonal/temporary employees, because I’ve heard at least two of them complaining about the job: “There’s nothing to DO… This is so BORING… I still have another THREE HOURS…” I honestly haven’t felt that way. I like it when it’s quiet and I’ve even become comfortable when it’s busy, and I usually find something to do to make myself useful, and when there’s not much going on, I don’t really have a problem with wandering around, straightening shelves and looking busy. Underneath all of my reticence, I do actually have a really good work ethic, I do want to be an asset to the store. If I keep trying to go above and beyond, or at very least being helpful, I feel like I’ll gain the manager’s and my co-workers’ respect, and definitely be able to stay on after the holidays.

So tomorrow is Black Friday, a.k.a. the day after Thanksgiving, a.k.a. the biggest shopping day of the year. Luckily I’m a closer, so I’m coming in at 2:00 in the afternoon and staying until we close the store for the night at 10:30PM. I’m told it’s pretty crazy, as I would expect it to be, but at least I’m not working the Midnight Madness shift, and one of the manager’s mentioned that we shouldn’t have lines around the store like we did last year because so many other stores are having Black Friday sales as well. We’ll see. I actually was dreading this day when I was first hired, but I’m honestly not too intimidated by it now.

Breaks/lunches are going to be a little different tomorrow, we all have to bring a dish of some sort to work, I’m going to try deviled eggs, since I’ve made those before and they’re not too difficult, and they’re Thanksgiving-y. Altogether, things are getting better for me. I still haven’t finished submitting all the information I need to submit to the college I’m planning on going to (which by the way, I found out is NOT a community college whatsoever, it’s a 4-year military school, but I still want to go, and I’m even toying with the idea of taking out student loans if I have to), but it’s going to happen.

My “romantic” (read: desperate sexual) experiences leading up to moving to Georgia and since being here have been, to quote Grace Adler: “a revolving door of loser after loser.” I’m actually really bothered by the idea that some of the guys I’ve had bad experiences with (one of whom got so attached to me that he was convinced he was in love with me and became suicidal when I broke it off with him before it even began) might be reading this blog. It honestly disturbs me a little bit.

I’ve always been very compassionate, but really, the last few guys I’ve been with have been losers. They’re human beings, and they’re not worthless, but they’re not people that are going to enhance me in any way, and I’m tired of handing myself over to people I’m completely not attracted to and who are pathetic, emotional messes. I need a good guy in my life with some sense of responsibility who has himself together and can show me some real, functional love. I’ve seen myself in some of the guys I’ve been with in Georgia, and it was fucking scary. I’m done dating losers and people I’m not attracted to, giving myself up to people and feeling unclean and hating myself afterward. It’s not that these guys I’ve been don’t have emotions that matter, but it’s just not my responsibility to be there for everyone and to handle every person’s shit. I’ve made some really, really shitty decisions about my life since I turned 18: in the last 3 years I’ve had sex with 10 people, and only one of those people did I really care about, and only a couple of those experiences were actually PLEASURABLE, much less meaningful.

I’m ready to get some good things going in my life. I’m ready to have the things I want and have friends and have a fucking LIFE. I’m done dreaming, I’m taking action now. I’ve started, and I’m not going back. Being a kid isn’t worth it, I much prefer being an adult.

Entertainment Things

Finally, Lady Gaga is giving us a better album cover for Born This Way. It’s the cover of a 3-disc compilation called Born This Way: The Collection, which compiles the 17-track version of Born This Way, a DVD of HBO’s The Monster Ball, and a new remix EP called Born This Way: The Remix, which features remixes of singles as well as album tracks. I will probably buy this, because this is the first time The Monster Ball is being officially released, but the thing that makes me the happiest is that I can finally get rid of that second disc of remixes from my deluxe edition of Born This Way, and more importantly, I can get rid of that awful motorcycle cover. I’ve always said that the photo on the back of the booklet, of Gaga in the gooey sort of afterbirth dress, should be the album cover, and now sure enough she’s giving us an even more fabulous gooey photo. I’m going to be honest, if this had been the cover of the album, I probably would have liked it more. Presentation is important; Lady Gaga of all people should know that. So here’s the cover! Change your iTunes album artwork with pride.

The only other entertainment news I have is that I have discovered Sam Sparro, who is known for his 2008 single Black and Gold, which has been covered by Adele, Ellie Goulding, and Katy Perry, but none of them compare to his original. Sam is a sexy Australian gay boy endowed with a set of vocal chords that make panties and undies alike drop, whose swag is turned up to the max and who is extremely sexy to boot; he’s a really talented singer and producer, and I highly suggest checking him out. Here’s a picture of mister hotness to persuade you.

Day-um.

I have been assembling B-Sides like a fucking madman over the last couple of weeks. You know what the secret is? Torrenting. If you’re going to download music illicitly, or go hunting for rarities, use torrents. You can almost always find what you’re looking for, and if you’re missing a specific song, you can do what I do and start checking mediafire and 4shared for individual audio files and comparing minute differences in starting time and audio quality to see which one is superior. I’m sort of an accidental audiophile.

Tori’s Infamous List of Bee Sides

So, of the artists that I “collect,” Tori Amos has unquestionably the most B-Sides (although Ke$ha wins for the most demos/unreleased songs, she has over 80, but I really didn’t bother with them). So, for you Toriphiles out there, I thought I would show you my list of Tori B-Sides as a guide for anyone looking to assemble their own collection of B-Sides. My source for the majority of these files is a thread on a Spanish website called Taringa! where someone very kindly uploaded pretty much every single Tori B-Side, remix, and promo single ever released. Finding it is difficult, I still have to go on a mad hunt for this thread any time I need it, because I never bother bookmarking it, and I also think that it’s been made private now so you have to make an account there to view it (which I did, earlier this year when I first compiled my B-Sides). Also, there are quite a few Tori Amos discography torrents that have a lot of these, and if you can find the torrent with a copy of the 4-disc bootleg called “The Lost Works,” you’re mostly set.

I have done my B-Side hunting for Tori on about 5 different occasions now, always on a different computer each time, and this time I’m getting some CD-R’s and backing this stuff up. Of course I should mention that the best way to go about getting some of these songs is to just BUY the music properly, but some stuff, you’re just not going to be able to find, and some stuff isn’t actually available on CD (like the audio rips of the instrumental versions of tracks from Tales of a Librarian, or the audio rip of Garlands from the bonus DVD in the deluxe edition of The Beekeeper). And for those of you who ARE going to buy the music properly, I have some words of caution for you.

iTunes’ Woefully Inaccurate 1996 Selection

Tori’s third album (and incidentally, my favorite) is called Boys For Pele, released in 1996. If you want to get a copy of this album (and I highly suggest you should), you should know that iTunes has fucked the tracklisting all to hell. Your best bet is to do what I did and order a copy of the album from eBay. I believe I payed about 6 dollars altogether for the physical album, which gave me perfect rips of the tracks without improper audio or tracklisting, for less money than it would cost to purchase the album online. So, there are three editions of Boys For Pele: the original version is 18 tracks long, and has all of the original versions of the songs. The second edition of the album is my personal favorite, and the one you’d find if you were to order the album from any major retailer, like Amazon or Barnes & Noble: this version of the album has one difference from the original, in that the song Talula is replaced with “the Tornado Mix,” which is a version of the song used on the Twister soundtrack. This version is just better than the original, it adds more percussion, makes the song a bit groovier, although it does omit a few little sections of lyrics. If you’re hardcore and want to have everything Tori has ever released, I would suggest putting the original version of Talula in your list of Pele B-Sides, or putting the Tornado Mix in your list of B-Sides. Personally, I just use the Tornado Mix on my Boys For Pele and I’m done with it.

Finally, there is a third version of the album, and this is my least favorite version. The fourth track, Professional Widow, is followed up by the famous Armand Van Helden remix that granted Tori her biggest hit to date when his remix went to the top of the dance charts. Not only does throwing a remix right into the middle of the album mess up the flow of the whole thing, but it also caused one of the songs, In The Springtime of His Voodoo, to be cut completely from this version.

iTunes’ version of Boys For Pele is the third edition of the album, which in itself is already a misrepresentation of the album, but to make things worse, they don’t actually include Professional Widow. Both Professional Widow and the Armand Van Helden Remix are the exact same audio track. It’s just the same track twice in a row. For this reason, I highly, highly suggest buying the original album on eBay or from any major retailer. Hell, if you go into a well-stocked Barnes & Noble, you just might find it.

Now, back to our original mission: B-Sides. The album is not the only thing iTunes has wrong, the Hey Jupiter EP is in even worse shape. The version of Hey Jupiter used here is NOT the Dakota Version (the remix used as the single version of the song, which is about 6 minutes long and includes some heartbreaking additional lyrics), though it’s labelled as such, and the Merry Widow version of Professional Widow, which is an intense, emotional performance of the song live on harmonium, isn’t here either, it’s the original version of the song. Once again, my advice is to buy the physical EP from eBay or Amazon, it’s not very expensive and it’s worth it to get the real stuff.

There’s one another album that iTunes has messed up: Tori’s box set release, A Piano: The Collection. It has all the right audio files, but there are a lot of inexplicable silences at the beginning of the songs. Me and a Gun, for instance, has about 4 seconds of silence before the song begins. It’s not done by the artist, it’s a mistake that for some reasons happens to a lot of album uploaded to iTunes, and I can’t quite explain it. If you really want to support Tori and buy her music, do what I did: purchase A Piano from iTunes, and then go and download a torrent of the album with the proper audio files. That way you’ve payed for it and you’ve got the proper songs.

Apart from the above mentioned releases, the rest of the Tori selection on iTunes seems to be perfectly accurate. The rest of the EP’s are all in good order, I got Crucify, God, and Raspberry Swirl from the iTunes store and they’re the right songs. The only thing is that beginning with Scarlet’s Walk, iTunes has posted multiple versions of the same album, some with no differences from one another. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense, for instance, there are 4 versions of American Doll Posse, one with 23 tracks, one with 23 tracks and a digital booklet, another that is identical to the second one I mentioned, and a third with the digital booklet and bonus videos. It would have much more prudent to either post one edition of the album, or at very least a regular edition and a deluxe edition. But who am I to tell the geniuses at iTunes what to do.

See that? That was a pun. I was being funny. See how funny I am?

On to the B-Sides Already!

So, without further adue, I present to you, my collection of Tori Amos B-Sides. And no, I’m not going to give you download links, because firstly I can’t be bothered to upload them all, and also because collecting these songs isn’t really all that challenging, it just requires a bit of digging around.

Note on my formatting: I include studio tracks first, then songs from soundtracks, and then live tracks. I do not include remixes or alternate versions of songs. Other than that, the songs are pretty much in chronological order of release. Also, for album art, I used some of the Polaroids from the special edition box set of Scarlet’s Walk, just as a way to keep them all uniform, but it’s fun to find different single covers to use as album artwork. All of my information on these songs, as well as the photos I used for album artwork, along with pretty much anything else you would ever need to know about Tori Amos, is from my friend Jason’s very popular Tori Amos fansite, Yessaid.

Little Earthquakes: B-Sides

1 Upside Down [from Me and a Gun single]
2 Thoughts [from Me and a Gun single]
3 Sugar [from China single]
4 Flying Dutchman [from China single]
5 Humpty Dumpty [from China single]
6 The Pool [from Winter single]
7 Take To The Sky [from Winter single]
8 Sweet Dreams [from Winter single]
9 Angie [from Winter/Crucify singles]
10 Smells Like Teen Spirit [from Winter/Crucify singles]
11 Thank You [from Winter/Crucify singles]
12 Here. In My Head [from Crucify single]
13 Mary [from Crucify single]
14 Ode To The Banana King (Part One) [from Silent All These Years single]
15 Song For Eric [from Silent All These Years single]
16 Ring My Bell [Anita Ward cover - from Ruby Trax: The NME's Roaring Forty]
17 The Happy Worker [from Toys Soundtrack]
18 Little Earthquakes (Live) [from Crucify single]
19 Crucify (Live) [from Crucify single]
20 Precious Things (Live) [from Crucify single]
21 Mother (Live) [from Crucify single]
22 Happy Phantom (Live) [from Silent All These Years single]
23 Silent All These Years (Live) [from Silent All These Years RAINN re-release single]

What’s missing: there is a single edit of China, as well as an edit of Flying Dutchman, both featured on the french China single, that I didn’t include. There’s also a remix of The Happy Worker called “Workers,” I don’t know if it’s an official release, but I didn’t include it. I also didn’t include the single remix of Crucify, not because I don’t like it but because it’s on A Piano: The Collection. In fact, A Piano saves me the trouble of including any of the single mixes, because they’re all featured in the box set.

Under the Pink: B-Sides

1 Sister Janet [from Cornflake Girl single]
2 All the Girls Hate Her [piano suite - from Cornflake Girl single]
3 Over It [piano suite - from Cornflake Girl single]
4 A Case Of You [Joni Mitchell cover - from Cornflake Girl single]
5 If 6 Was 9 [Jimi Hendrix cover - from Cornflake Girl single]
6 Strange Fruit [Billie Holiday cover - from Cornflake Girl single]
7 Home on the Range (Cherokee Edition) [traditional folk song with some added lyrics - from God single]
8 Daisy Dead Petals [from Pretty Good Year single]
9 Honey [from Pretty Good Year single]
10 Black Swan [from Pretty Good Year single]
11 Losing My Religion [R.E.M. cover - from Higher Learning Soundtrack]
12 Butterfly [from Higher Learning Soundtrack]
13 Famous Blue Raincoat [Leonard Cohen cover - from Tower of Song: The Songs of Leonard Cohen]
14 Down By The Seaside [Led Zeppelin cover with Robert Plant - from Encomium: A Tribute to Led Zeppelin]
15 Upside Down (Live) [from Past the Mission single]
16 Past the Mission (Live) [from Past the Mission single]
17 Icicle (Live) [prefaced with a story from Tori - from Past the Mission single]
18 Flying Dutchman (Live) [from Past the Mission single]
19 Winter (Live) [from Past the Mission single]
20 The Waitress (Live) [from Past the Mission single]
21 Here. In My Head (Live) [from Past the Mission single]

What’s missing: every remix of God, and a live performance of Little Drummer Boy that was included on You Sleigh Me: Alternate Christmas Hits as well as More Pink: The B-Sides, the second disc of Under the Pink’s special Australian/New Zealand tour edition. I didn’t include it because firstly, no recordings of it, not even the one featured on More Pink, are very good quality, secondly because I just don’t like it, and thirdly because I haven’t really bothered to hunt around for it. There’s also a single edit of Cornflake Girl that I actually really like, which skips right ahead to the bridge after the second chorus, and I enjoy it as much as the original, they don’t cut out any singing, just a bit of rhythm playing between the second verse and the bridge.

It helped with some of these that the photos are the same color scheme as the album.

Boys For Pele: B-Sides

1 This Old Man [traditional folk song - from Caught a Lite Sneeze single]
2 Hungarian Wedding Song [from Caught a Lite Sneeze single]
3 Toodles Mr. Jim [from Caught a Lite Sneeze single]
4 London Girls [Chas & Dave cover - from Caught a Lite Sneeze single]
5 That’s What I Like Mick (The Sandwich Song) [Chas & Dave cover - from Caught a Lite Sneeze single]
6 Samurai [from Caught a Lite Sneeze single]
7 Graveyard [from Caught a Lite Sneeze single]
8 Amazing Grace – Til the Chicken [the first song is a traditional folk song - from Talula single]
9 Frog On My Toe [from Talula single]
10 Sister Named Desire [from Talula single]
11 Alamo [from Talula single]
12 Blue Skies [from Party of 5 Soundtrack]
13 I’m On Fire (Live) [Bruce Springsteen cover - from VH1 Crossroads]
14 Landslide (Live) [Fleetwood Mac cover - from Y-100 Sonic Sessions: Volume 1]
15 Sugar (Live) [from Hey Jupiter single]
16 Honey (Live) [from Hey Jupiter single]
17 Professional Widow (Merry Widow Version – Live) [A very different version of the song played on harmonium - from Hey Jupiter single]
18 Somewhere Over The Rainbow (Live) [Judy Garland cover - from Hey Jupiter single]

What’s missing: Well the obvious missing links are the Armand Van Helden remix of Professional Widow, along with every other remix of the song. There are also remixes for Talula, In The Springtime of His Voodoo, and even some unreleased remixes of Horses that aren’t included here. The Dakota Version of Hey Jupiter isn’t included either, for the same reason a the Crufiy single remix: both the Professional Widow remix and the Dakota Version of Hey Jupiter are on A Piano: The Collection. I also didn’t include the Tornado Mix of Talula because I have it filed under the album itself, and just omit the original version of Talula altogether. If you wanted to include it, I’d recommend putting it right between Graveyard and Amazing Grace, since that would be where you’d find it chronologically.

From the Choirgirl Hotel: B-Sides

(the amount of B-Sides drastically decrease after Boys For Pele, both because Tori started releasing remixes of her songs, and also I assume because CD singles were beginning to become obsolete. I personally enjoy a nice single EP)

1 Purple People (Christmas In Space) [from Spark single]
2 Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas [traditional folk song - from Spark single]
3 Bachelorette [from Spark single]
4 Do It Again [from Spark single]
5 Cooling [from Spark single]
6 Beulah Land [from Jackie's Strength single]
7 Never Seen Blue [from Jackie's Strength single]
8 Finn [from Great Expectations soundtrack]
9 Siren [from Great Expectations soundtrack]
10 Merman [from No Boundaries: A Benefit for the Kosovar Refugees]

What’s missing: Every remix of Raspberry Swirl, Spark, Cruel, Jackie’s Strength, and Father Lucifer. Although I do personally like some of those remixes, I just don’t like including remixes in my B-Sides. There’s also a track in the Great Expectations score called Paradiso Perduto that features some Tori vocals, but I didn’t include it here either, both because I just didn’t want to and because it’s annoying to try and hunt down the score.

I used the garden because of Datura. Aren't I clever?

To Venus And Back: B-Sides

(Venus doesn’t actually have any original B-Sides, they’re all live performances that I assume were scrapped from Still Orbiting. It is interesting to note that all of the live performances featured as B-Sides are Tori playing solo without the band. The only thing that can be considered a B-Side from this album is Carnival, which is a song featured on the Mission Impossible 2 soundtrack. I personally think it looks weird and throws off the way the Venus B-Sides look. You might want to tack it on to the end of the Choirgirl B-Sides, even though it’d be chronologically incorrect, since Venus was the album that was out when she did the song)

1 Carnival [from Mission Impossible 2 Soundtrack]
2 Hey Jupiter (Live) [from 1000 Oceans single]
3 Upside Down (Live) [from 1000 Oceans single]
4 Baker Baker (Live) [from Glory of the 80's single]
5 Winter (Live) [from Glory of the 80's single]
6 Famous Blue Raincoat (Live) [from Concertina single]
7 Twinkle (Live) [from Concertina single]

What’s missing: the single mix of Concertina. However, as with the other single mixes, it’s included on A Piano: The Collection. I don’t ever let songs repeat in my collection, because as you can clearly see, I am extremely organized. On that note, this is not technically organized chronologically, because Famous Blue Raincoat and Twinkle were released on the Glory of the 80′s single first, but I prefer them in this order.

Strange Little Girls: B-Sides

1 After All [from Strange Little Girl single]
2 Only Women Bleed [from Strange Little Girl single]

What’s missing: not much. There are only two B-Sides for this whole album, and they were included on the same single, which is the ONLY official single released for the album. There is a promo single of Strange Little Girl, which contains supposed “single edits” of Strange Little Girl, ’97 Bonnie & Clyde, and Heart of Gold. I cannot find any difference between the “single edits” and the album versions, but I wouldn’t have included them here regardless.

Scarlet’s Walk: B-Sides

(some of the songs that I’m crediting as being released on Scarlet’s Hidden Treasures, the bonus CD that comes with Welcome to Sunny Florida, were originally released on Scarlet’s Web, a website that was accessible using the Scarlet’s Walk CD, but not only are the versions released on Welcome to Sunny Florida of generally better audio quality, they’re also just better in that order because it makes a very nice EP)

1 Ruby Through The Looking-Glass [from Scarlet's Hidden Treasures]
2 Seaside [from Scarlet's Hidden Treasures]
3 Bug A Martini [from Scarlet's Hidden Treasures]
4 Apollo’s Frock [from Scarlet's Hidden Treasures]
5 Tombigbee [from Scarlet's Hidden Treasures]
6 Indian Summer [from Scarlet's Hidden Treasures]
7 Operation Peter Pan [from A Sorta Fairytale single]
8 Mountain [from Scarlet's Web]

What’s missing: the single mix, and the 101 mix, of A Sorta Fairytale. Both of them are good mixes, though. Also it should be noted that there are no versions of Mountain of very high audio quality, as far as I’ve been able to find at least. There are also some remixes of Make Me Come To Vegas, and some radio versions of Taxi Ride and Strange, that I am completely not interested in.

To be honest, that’s the end of the B-Sides as we know them, there have been singles or EPs released after Scarlet’s Walk, and we now get our B-Sides from poorly put-together bonus DVDs, and deluxe editions of the albums. However, for your convenience, I’ll include the remaining bonus tracks.

Tales of a Librarian: B-Sides

(there is one “reconditioned” [or "badly remastered"] version of Putting the Damage On that didn’t make the physical album, but it is on the bonus DVD, as well as the iTunes release. The live performances are taken from the sound check of the performance that was used on Welcome to Sunny Florida. I personally don’t have any of these in my library.)

1 Putting the Damage On [reconditioned version - bonus track on iTunes release of Tales of a Librarian]
2 Mr. Zebra (Instrumental) [from Tales of a Librarian bonus DVD]
3 Putting the Damage On (Instrumental) [from Tales of a Librarian bonus DVD]
4 Pretty Good Year (Live) [from Tales of a Librarian bonus DVD]
5 Northern Lad (Live) [from Tales of a Librarian bonus DVD]
6 Honey (Live) [from Tales of a Librarian bonus DVD]

What’s missing: There is a radio edit of Mary that was released on a promo single, but my rule for Tori B-Sides is that I don’t include alternate versions, all the important ones, except for A Sorta Fairytale’s single version, can be found on an official release somewhere.

The Beekeeper: B-Sides

1 Garlands [from The Beekeeper bonus DVD]

What’s missing: there are some audio rips of Tori playing live on the DVD, but I’m not interested. In my iTunes, I have this filed as Garlands – Single, and I used the Sleeps With Butterflies artwork. Just a suggestion.

American Doll Posse: B-Sides

1 My Posse Can Do [from American Doll Posse bonus DVD]
2 Miracle [bonus track from iTunes release of American Doll Posse]
3 Drive All night [bonus track from Borders release of American Doll Posse] 

What’s missing: Not a thing. And in fact, the final three tracks on the album are apparently bonus tracks themselves, but there’s no version that doesn’t feature them, so I don’t quite see how they’re bonus tracks. Incidentally, Posse Bonus is an entire song dedicated to telling you that you’re getting bonus tracks. Yeah, it’s safe to say Tori’s albums are a little less entertaining nowadays when you get an entire number about your bonus tracks… Also, My Posse Can Do is an audio rip from the bonus DVD on the deluxe edition of American Doll Posse, I don’t know of anywhere you could properly buy the audio file, but the audio file is floating around, and can be found on some torrents.

Abnormally Attracted to Sin: B-Sides

1 Oscar’s Theme [bonus track on iTunes release of Abnormally Attracted to Sin]

What’s missing: That’s it, it’s just Oscar’s Theme. It’s track 18 on one of iTunes releases of the album.

Midwinter Graces: B-Sides

(All of these are covers of traditional folk songs. There are some original songs on the album, and Tori adds/changes some lyrics on all of the carols, but these tracks are still traditional folk songs)

1 Comfort and Joy [bonus track on deluxe version and iTunes release of Midwinter Graces]
2 Stille Nacht! Heilige Nacht! (Silent Night! Holy Night!) [bonus track on deluxe version and iTunes release of Midwinter Graces]
3 Good King Wenceslas [bonus track on iTunes release of Midwinter Graces]

What’s missing: Unless you want to count the bonus interview on the DVD of the deluxe version and the iTunes release as a B-Sides, nothing’s missing from here.

There have been some developments in my life lately, some of which I’ve already talked about, the most pressing matter being that I quit the job I did have at Five Guys Burgers and Fries because, well, I hated it, and I couldn’t bare another moment of it. Well to be honest I probably would have eventually gotten used to it, but it was an awful feeling, and I couldn’t think about anything other than how much I hated the job, and maybe I psyched myself out, but whatever, it’s time to move on. I have another job now at Pottery Barn (retail? Heck yes), and while I’m nervous I’m also excited about this job, because I think I’ll enjoy it and I don’t have to flip burgers and come home covered in acne and smelling like potatoes; and I’m probably going to be doing mostly stocking, which would be great, it’s just the kind of repetitive job that doesn’t deal with people that I think I might enjoy.

Also I’ve been trying to meditate, or at least to calm down a little. I found these podcasts on iTunes for meditation and I go to sleep listening to them, not every night but when I do it helps a lot to calm me down. I think the most helpful thing I’ve found is that when you’re angry or you’re afraid or you’re panicking, the best thing to do is to embrace that emotion, to feel it fully and accept it, and it flows right through you and you’re left with peace. I found a video on YouTube earlier this year where someone said something similar about overcoming panic attacks, to embrace the fear, to give it love, and it no longer has power over you and you’re free from it and the anxiety leaves. It’s a very helpful philosophy, and I hope that if I need a way to calm down I can remember this and use it.

Really, I feel like I’m on the edge of being an adult, and I’m so happy about that, I just hate being near my family. I don’t feel like I can do anything when I’m around my mother, I don’t want to be here, but I need to be here because I’m provided for, even at the expense of some intense emotional issues, and to make things better I’m starting college in January. It’s this place called North Georgia College, it’s not specifically a military school but it seems very military-oriented. It is, however, a community college, so I’m sure that there’s a bit of everything (I, as you can perhaps tell, am not a military person). But the best part is that they offer student-housing, and I think I read something that said living in the dormitories is $200 a month, which I could easily pay if I save the money I make from this (possibly temporary/seasonal) job at Pottery Barn. Then, I’ll be out of my family’s house, living on my own but still closeby everyone, I have a truck here that belongs to my stepfather that I’m free to use (in fact, he may have even already given it to me), and once I get my license I should already have a lot of things in place for myself.

So, my goal for January is this: to have my license, to be driving regularly, to be doing well at my job, have money saved, and begin college living in student housing. I know this is odd, but living in a student dorm is literally one of my dreams. Like, along with being a famous musician and traveling the world and finding love, I want to live in a dorm and have college friends, and do college things, and go to parties, and not go to parties, and go to people’s rooms and fall asleep in people’s beds and have boyfriends and break up with them and play pianos in big auditoriums. It’s something I desperately yearn for, and unlike being a musician, it can’t wait forever, because I’m getting older. I’m 21 now and I’ve barely done anything close to growing up. I need college, on many levels. I need to have friendship and happiness and laughter in my life.

This whole Georgia thing has been a big clusterfuck shitfest ever since I got here. First there was the whole long-distance phone-flirting thing with Chris, then came the possible relationship that Jeremy that completely sunk when I found out I wasn’t attracted to him whatsoever, then dealing with his obsessive depression over me, the awful job at Five Guys, the multiple threats that I was going to be kicked out in the middle of nowhere Georgia, and then more recently I got involved with someone else who I knew from the beginning was a bad idea, had an uncomfortable experience and hurt his feelings, I mean really this whole fucking move has been terrible, and my life has been flipped upside-down, which is hard to do when I barely had a life to begin with. I live outside in a camper on an uncomfortable piece of foam stretched over a table that serves as a well-enough bed, I’m trapped in this house most of the time, I’m fighting to keep my agoraphobia from coming back, my vision seems to just be getting worse and worse so that I can barely see anything, it’s just a whole fuck of a lot to deal with.

But I’m going to do this job at Pottery Barn, it was what I wanted and I got it, seasonal or not. I have to get away from this family, I have to make friends, I have to play music and I have to do all the things I want to. The time for waiting is over. I’ve spent the time since I was 13 years old dreaming of life being different, and now I’m going to make it different, if it’s hard, I’ll just get stronger until it isn’t hard anymore.

Entertainment Stuff

Yesterday I started a new novel, The Host by Stephenie Meyer. I know, I know, please hold all comments ’till the end. I’ve read the Twilight series. Yes, it is true. I read them all before the first film ever went to theaters when I was in 12th grade. It was an okay series. Since the series blew up and became a massive fandom, a lot of people have made some pretty valid points about Stephenie Meyer’s writing style, but altogether, there are much worse author’s in the world, and I’ve always thought that she seems like a nice person in interviews, even if Twilight is just the teensiest bit fucked up. The Host does share some similarities with Twilight, but it’s a different story altogether, and it’s pretty immersive. The obvious similarities are the main character, a teenage, dark-haired female, falling madly in love at first sight with an overly masculine, musclebound hunk. However, their quick attachment to one another is somewhat more believable because The Host is set on a post-apocalyptic Earth in the western part of the US where 5 billion of the world’s human beings have been wiped out and their bodies possessed by alien parasites, as opposed to a rogue clan of moralized vampires going to high school in a rainy town in Washington. Also, the main protagonist, Melanie, is a thousand times better of a character than Bella. Melanie is driven, powerful and fearless, fighting to keep her younger brother alive, where Bella is an angsty, self-loathing pushover. The love story is also much more romantic, two people living in hiding, fearing death at any moment, as opposed to (ahem, let me equip my droning, robotic monotone and narrow my eyes) “Oh, Edward… you are… so… beautiful…” (yawn), “And I… cannot… stop loving…um… you… Please… I want you to have angry rough vampire sex with me… and please also stalk me… and watch me sleep at night…”

The story isn’t told from Melanie’s perspective entirely, because our main protagonist is an alien named Wanderer who has been placed inside Melanie’s body, but Melanie’s consciousness has not faded, and Wanderer is left sharing Melanie’s feelings of longing for Jared, along with her own feelings of inadequacy and weakness for not being able to control her host body. So far, all of Melanie’s story is told through dreams and flashbacks. As was the case with her previous series, Meyer does have a tendency to get a bit giddy with her descriptions of rippling pectorals and squared-off jawlines (seriously, what the HELL is this woman’s obsession with JAWS?), but so far The Host has been a far more rewarding read than Twilight.

And in other entertainment news, Florence + the Machine’s second album, Ceremonials, was released a few days ago. Due to a combination of me having no money and no patience, I went ahead and downloaded the leaked copy of the album a day before it’s release date, but I still intend to buy it when I get the chance. I haven’t heard the album in it’s entirety, I did however have a fantastic time listening to the studio version of Bedroom Hymns, the song I was most looking forward to. Both Bedroom Hymns and another song, Strangeness & Charm, which was our first glimpse into the new album (Florence performed the song live at the Hammersmith Apollo for Between Two Lungs, the UK re-release of her debut album, and many times on tour afterward) are featured on the second disc as B-Sides, but that doesn’t inply that they’re lesser quality songs.

In fact, I haven’t really been brave enough to listen to most of the album yet, because of the sheer LENGTH of the thing. Every single song is between four minutes long and five-and-a-half minutes long. The other thing about this album is that all the songs are very similar, they use the same instruments: harp, chamber choirs, tamberine, strings; however the interesting thing is that this doesn’t hurt the album. Usually when songs all blend together it makes for a bland, uninteresting album, but Florence is unbelievable as always and even though most of the songs are grand explosions of sound, using the same giant choirs and dramatic electronic effects, the songs still keep their own unique personalities. She’s still just as talented as she always was, and this album is a full, lush work of art, but it is very intimidating. Imagine if every song on Lungs were Cosmic Love, or a 5 minute long version of Drumming Song. It’d be grand and incredible, but a lot to take in all at once.

One reviewer said of the album, “Ceremonials suffers from a repetitiveness that’s akin to looking at a skyline filled with 100-story behemoths lined-up one after the other, blocking out everything but their own size.” I definitely see his point, but I’m not going to criticize Florence, this album is a triumph of creativity and sheer epicness, at least from what I’ve heard of it so far.

Surprise! Dream Stuff

Oh yeah, I also had a dream about Florence last night. This is actually the second time I’ve dreamt about her, the first time I was on a family camping trip and just ran into her at a campground. I remember that when I woke up I was really mad because I didn’t ask her why Swimming was never included on Lungs. In this dream, she and Tori Amos were performing, together, in a store in the mall that was a sort of combination of Hot Topic and a restaurant. Afterward I was sitting down and caught sight of Florence on a nearby couch, and we moved to a booth and started talking together, and I remembered this time to ask her why Swimming was never included on Lungs. She got sort of fidgety and kept saying, “Ummmm…” and couldn’t seem to come up with a good reason, but basically I got the impression that she felt that Swimming felt like a B-Side, and when I said this she agreed. Swimming is fucking awesome, by the way, so don’t blame me for what dream-Florence says to me. Interestingly after I woke up and went back to sleep, I had another dream about Tori, except that instead of it being modern-day Tori like in my previous dream, it was 1992 Little Earthquakes-era Tori (score!), and I was seeing things through her perspective, and she was doing an interview walking around on a sidewalk (in what felt to me a lot like a strip-mall across the street from where I used to live in South Carolina, where I once applied for a job at a sandwich ship) talking about being a musician and being famous, and she said that a store offered to tile her floor for free if she became a member of their store.

Oh! and one more thing, I’ve been listening to the Dresden Dolls lately. That’s not entirely news since I’ve mentioned Amanda Palmer in the last few blog posts, but if you want to get into this band I seriously suggest starting at the beginning: the first Dresden Dolls album is really a fun experience from beginning to end, I’ve listened to most of it, and it all flows very well together. I’ve heard bits and pieces from all of their other albums, I like the opening track, Sex Changes, from their second album. Amanda’s newer work seems to involve a lot of ukelele and sillyness, and while that’s all well and good, it seems like she’s stopped doing full-on studio albums for a while, since about three quarters of her second solo album, Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under, are live recordings, and the follow up album in 2013, Amanda Palmer Goes Into The Bush, probably will be as well. But, people are allowed to make music however they want to, and her talent hasn’t stopped shining through on any of her projects.

Every time I see Vincent’s face I get an allergy
I want to cry cause he’s the one who’s got my love who’s not with me
Every time I remember how he’s got a bigger dick than me
And how he’s modeling, I know my ex he likes them young and skinny
When I think of how I even kissed him I am sick with me
And when I think of how I even fucked him what is wrong with me
And in my heart I know he loves him more than he ever loved me
And gives him all the things I wanted but he only spit it on me
And how he let him bottom and he came for him but not for me
And why’s he so much prettier than me?

Vincent’s got a thick one I know cause he fucked my mouth one time
I cried and choked cause it felt so good and maybe I had lost my mind
I kissed the boy who has my love who stole my dreams I think it’s time
To put an end to Vincent’s interference with my valentine
I’ve got a knife I’ve got a gun the sandman’s on his way tonight
It’s dark outside his room but I wait ’cause there’s still plenty of time
I made it in without a sound he’s sleeping like an angel
He’s naked and he’s beautiful especially from this angle
I think I’ll get one more kiss from him maybe slide my hand behind him
Wake up baby I won’t hurt I’m just gonna love you
Well you’ve got my lover, now I’ve got you guess that makes us even right?
You’re even smiling, guess you like it, you’re so tight and warm inside
Or do you even realize what you’ve done to me you pretty boy
Enchanted me and stole from me and do I see tears in your eyes?
Oh don’t start crying I won’t hurt you, look don’t cry I’ve changed my mind
I’ll sneak back out your window down the street and leave you here behind me

Had I left my knife under his pillow there’d be nothing I could do
To stop him getting me in trouble but I made it out and now
I love you Vincent, hate you too it’s fucked up baby but it’s true
Could we three all just be together, happy family glued together
Now you’re both in all my dreams I tried to love you but it seems you
Don’t love me but I’ll be fine
I’ve got a gun I’ve got a knife
I’ve got a love that’s unrequited
Got a body now united with you both
A heart that’s broken with you both
The situation isn’t looking good for me
But there are other boys in the sea
I think you’re the only ones for me

~

I feel this needs some explaining, lest I be thrown into a mental institution. I don’t know how this turned so violent and creepy, blame it on being in such upsetting circumstances, but while I seriously considered scrapping the whole thing I decided to keep going with it. Writing from the perspective of a possibly homicidal scorned ex-lover could be fun! Anyway the story took a twist I didn’t think it would. I’m glad I didn’t scrap it.

I really wish that my news was that I were living somewhere other than Georgia, that I were far away from my mother and that I’d never have to see my family again, but that isn’t what happened. I fantasized about it a lot though, I imagined a rock band’s tour bus breaking down in the neighborhood across the street, and while I walked to the gas station with two of the band members, I sang for them and they invited me to come on the road with them and I began living life as a musician, and experiencing all the love and excitement and youth that I’ve dreamed of.

I actually considered, closer to reality, asking Jimmy to take me back. Not as his boyfriend, but to let me stay with him. It kind of goes to show that all I’ve learned from my mother is how to manipulate people and make them feel sorry for me until they assume responsibility of me. Jimmy didn’t respond though.

I quit the job at Five Guys. I knew from the moment I walked in on the first day that it was a mistake. I don’t know how. It could be that I went in with such a bad attitude that I stopped myself from ever succeeding there. But I just knew that I couldn’t do it. I could have held on longer, but the best way to describe it is being trapped, and that was after only four days of working there. Because of an argument with my mother in which she, as usual, behaved like the mean, selfish child that she is and decided that the best method for punishing a ten-year old is to attack her on a personal basis, hurt her feelings, and tell her that she’s not as good of a child as her other children, and my response that she was acting like a bitch, as well the ensuing argument about her being a bullshit Christian (as though Christianity isn’t bullshit to begin with), during which I was told that I was kicked out of her house earlier this year for “denying Jesus Christ,” and when I replied that I don’t give a shit about Jesus Christ, well you can imagine.

She was doing this weird thing of not saying she was putting me on the street, but saying she was going to move the camper to a trailer park and make me pay to live there. When I have no money. Even had I kept the job at Five Guys, I wouldn’t have had money to live on my own. Progress is not enough for her, she expects me to go from completely dependent to completely independent immediately; when I told her I quit the job I had, she assured me her fiance would kick me out, which he did not, because I have another job lined up at Pottery Barn. I talked to one of the manager’s and he all but assured me the job, and today my mother (who is also a former employer) missed a call about a background check, so my chances of getting this job at Pottery Barn are looking very good.

It’s taken me a few days to calm down. To calm down from the panicked feeling I had a few days ago. Not panicked like a panic attack, more panicked like I simply cannot handle life. It wasn’t emotional, it wasn’t raw and open and filled with tears and yearning and longing, it was dry and frantic and I felt maimed and incapable. I cannot live here much longer. But I think I’ll do better at this job at Pottery Barn, much better, and I may be starting school here in Georgia soon. I need to be away from these people, and take care of myself. I need to have freedom.

For now, though, I’m alright. My situation seems to fairly stable enough, and I’m going to try and go back to North Carolina for this weekend, and maybe see Nathan. I’d like to walk around the block there and experience that again, with my new ability to survive out in public that a few days of working at Five Guys gave me. I did not overcome my anxiety while there, but it just stopped controlling me. And I never want to come home smelling like wet potatoes, raw meat and onions ever again. No more restaurants for me.

I got my keyboard hooked up, though the smaller amp will only let me plug in one half so I have the old problem of it being loud on one side more than the other. But playing piano has made me feel a little more like myself, maybe a little calmer and more stable, and probably relieved me of some of the things floating around in my chest and my brain.

I’ve discovered a new musician, her name is Amanda Palmer, and she is one half of The Dresden Dolls. I had heard about Amanda Palmer from a Tori Amos podcast, where someone mentioned Amanda saying that she tried to listen to Tori and wasn’t very into her; people seem to think Amanda hates Tori and having read a couple of her blogs where Tori is mentioned, she has a lot of respect for her and is completely honest about her opinions on Tori, which pretty much are about the same as mine. She sometimes hates Tori’s music and sometimes loves it, and mentions that the first couple of albums have some great songs, and that she may hate this song and love that one. That’s pretty much how I feel. I’ve tried very hard to like Tori’s newer music, but after her third album it all went downhill, with one or two songs worth listening to on an album and a lot of other’s that just aren’t worth the effort. Her music doesn’t really have discernable melodies anymore, her voice is hard to listen to, and frankly a lot of it is boring. She seems to make songs that could have some potential and then just leaves them at that. That’s how I feel about her music anyway, and having tried to force-feed myself Tori’s entire catalogue, I’m entitled to have my opinion and feel how I want to about it. The Tori magic is the 1996 Dew Drop Inn Tour; that’s where the soul-shaking stuff happens, the demon and the goddess clawing their way out of Tori’s mouth and rushing through her fingers and moving her body and screaming and bleeding all over the stage.

But back to the Dresden Dolls, and Amanda Palmer. The Doll’s first album was released in 2004, and it’s the one I’ve listened to the most so far, with some really inspiring and refreshing songs. Right now my favorite is Amanda Palmer’s 2008 solo debut, Who Killed Amanda Palmer. I discovered Amanda and the Dresden Dolls when I came across Astronaut on a nifty music program called Spotify (it’s like last.fm and iTunes thrown together), and I’ve been watching interviews with Amanda and listening to her music and I even learned to play Astronaut in a very basic form. She performs the way I want to, she throws herself at the audience and the emotion and the music erupt out of her all over the room. As it turns out, she also uses Kurzweil keyboards, which is the very kind I have. It gave me a nice boost of confidence in the electronic instrument I once deemed unfit to play because it didn’t have weighted keys.

But as for the music itself, I wasn’t able to purchase anything because I have no money. I did learn, however, that Amanda’s debut, as well an “Alternate Tracks” version, and a reading by Neil Gaiman that is something of a prologue, are all “name your price” on her website, taking a page from Radiohead when they gave fans the opportunity to pay whatever they felt their newest album was worth. What I didn’t realize is that there is literally no minimum, and you can download the music for free if you want to. I wanted to support Amanda but I have no money and my accounts are in the negative, so I downloaded them for free, as well as all of the Dresden Dolls albums, which are also “name your price” on her website.

Apparently, however, the record company screwed Amanda over and she gets absolutely none of the proceeds from the sale of the album if you purchase it from any retailer other than herself, which is probably the reason why there’s no minimum on the album. If you’re going to be getting the album and she’s not going to be making any money, you may as well get it for free from her instead of donating twelve dollars to the record company, who isn’t going to give her a cent of the profits from her own major-label, Ben Folds-produced album.

Also on a related note, the other Dresden Doll, Brian Viglione, is seriously sexy. I don’t know what it is, because in truth he looks a bit weather-beaten, but he’s so well put-together and always shirtless and well-defined, there’s something extremely masculine about him, more so than in other men. I think it adds to his sexiness that he enjoys cross-dressing, and he just seems like a genuine, awesome person. I’d tap it. For sure. Although since he’s straight, I’d probably have to settle for him tapping me. I’m down.

And, get this! When Amanda goes on tour by herself or with Brian, they don’t stay in hotels. THEY STAY WITH FANS. Yep. They come and crash at your place. That is awesome. Amanda and Brian are more in touch with their fans than anyone I’ve seen in their position: they answer all questions, if you send them something to autograph they’ll autograph it and mail it back to you, they encourage you to send in your music if you’re a musician and promise they listen to everything, and if they like you they may bring you onto their label and they may let you open for them. They’re just so genuine, and it’s really about the music for them. One person mentioned that the Who Killed Amanda Palmer songbook had a binding that snapped shut, and Amanda said they were working on a new binding for future editions and that she could trade it in. So genuine!

She’s really just an inspiration and exactly the kind of musician I want to be. I don’t feel the need to mimic her either, because I just get her; she makes me want to be myself, and not copy Tori Amos or anyone else.